she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize