what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
