I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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