gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
