The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
