That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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