I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
