two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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