i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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