yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
