I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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