shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
