dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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