I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
