Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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