I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize