I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
