i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just sucked dick on a ferry
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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