i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
