this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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