why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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