The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Are we still banned from the library?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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