so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
