When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
