we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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