just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Randomize
