the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
