Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
