yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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