Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
