i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
