we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
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