I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That accounts for only three of the penises
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
They have beer where we have blood.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
