I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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