i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
