is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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