I want to make a zoo with you.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Shame - the story of my life.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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