I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
