i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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