Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize