Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
