the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
