if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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