She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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