If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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