He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
