i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
