Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
