just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize