i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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