All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I've blown a few things in my day
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
