Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
