I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize