apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
