therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
