I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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