i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
