don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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