Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
